nut hugger
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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