actually, I'm a sock model
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
