Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
