I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
