It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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