Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
