You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
