i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
