I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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