So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
