she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
