This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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