He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is it penis luge time yet?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
