Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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