just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
