i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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