New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize