Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Green mimosas i think yes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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