i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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