i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i came on her dog
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
