is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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