Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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