I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize