Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
