"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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