I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
