Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
