who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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