STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
