I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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