i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
