so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
