S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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