wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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