Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
