this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He felt like a one man threesome
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
