If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize