Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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