Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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