Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
