Pants 0. Shit 1.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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