it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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