she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
