do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
