Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
