When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
