Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
