So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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