is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
