Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
