I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
