I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
