I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
