I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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