yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
