She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
