I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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