We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
