just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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