My first STD was from a foam party
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
