I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
